Thursday, June 3, 2010

Free-Floating Fetal Heads

Defending Roe v. Wade means defending a point very late in the pregnancy. Thus defending Roe causes liberals to fight tooth and nail for even the most appalling, gruesome abortions. Our Supreme Court is 5-4 on partial-birth abortion, and then 5-4 the other way. This is where you want to draw the line? This is where you want the fight to be? Okay.

You know people are going to read these opinions, right? In Carhart I, Justice Breyer writes, "Our discussion may seem clinically cold or callous to some, perhaps horrifying to others." Dude, if you think your opinion might be cold, callous, or horrifying, how do you think the other side is going to take it? "We the People, do hereby establish, a cold, callous and horrifying regime."

I mean, Roe v. Wade lovers had a chance when you were using Orwellian language. Liberty, equality, freedom. You can kill people all day while singing that song. But how far are you going to get sounding like Dr. Mengele? "D&X reduces the incidence of a free floating fetal head that can be difficult for a physician to grasp and remove..." Oh my God, an abortion doctor cut off a baby's head and lost it in the uterus. Okay. That's not going to freak people out.

Nice people have thoughts like, "Maybe we should outlaw baby decapitation in the womb so we don't have those baby parts floating around." Not-so-nice people think, "Let's get the baby out of the womb and decapitate her out here."

I know, I know, a baby's head is hard to grasp and remove. I know! Happens to me all the time.

Justice Breyer, when some abortion doctor decapitates my head and gives it to you for a birthday present, please don't lose it. That's all I ask. I would hate it if my wobbly head, rolling around under your desk, inspired you to find newer, more homicidal Constitutional rights. Although it's hard to imagine what those rights might be. So please keep a tight, firm grip on the Carmichael head--put it in a jar, Frankenstein--and keep it safe.

Honestly, man. Nobody wants to hear about how messy your Constitutional rights are and how difficult it is to clean up after them.

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